MEDICINAL PURPOSES

We very quickly found out why Woody toppled over so much: his front left leg was considerably shorter than the rest, the toes of his paw fused together. "Looks like Michigan," David noted when I showed him Woody's "mitten."
Not that his "handicap" stopped him from making virtually anything - toes, subscription cards from magazines, fallen wrappers, pantyhose - a toy.
A toy to be shaken like shark chum and transported at lightning speeds around the apartment.

So, packing was fun.

Except for, uh... certain things one might want to remain, er...unshaken.

"Man, I know I had a little baggie of weed around here somewhere," David said, searching the living room on that last day.
"Well, " I called from the bedroom,"you'd better find it before Lady Aubrey's piggie little porker does. Then again, maybe it will find it and get the munchies so bad it'll eat itself to-"
Just then I heard it, a sound much like a salt shaker being shaken, its "shimmy-shimmy" sound echoing through the empty apartment.

"Uh-ohhhh," I muttered and ran into the living room.
A tiny white blur raced past me, the "Shimmy" sound louder and louder.

"Nnnnooooooooo!" David dashed past in a bent-at-the-waist position, his hands in a permanent scoop.
"Yyyowwww! Don't let him eat that! He could die! He could die!" I screamed, running after them.
"C'mere, buddy boy, let Daddy have it, c'mon...." David coaxed.
So the three of us were there racing around the apartment, Woody and the weed in the lead.
In a flash of insight I grabbed the feather duster and continued the mad dash as I called, "Oh, Woooody! Whatever you do, don't get this feather duster!"
I zoomed in the opposite direction and he leaped for the hot pink feathers just as the baggie left his tiny jaws.
David dove for it.
I shook the duster crazily.
"Pick it up! Pick it up!" I whispered savagely as I shook the feathers wildly at Woody who, thank God, was now going after the duster.
"Damn," David said, holding the baggie. "It's still in tact. Good Boy!" Woody left me and the duster and trotted over to David. "Good boy! Good boy! Man, I could use this on this road trip...."